thoughts 06/10/25

My therapist's office is on the second story and surrounded by a round leaved tree that I find so beautiful. Every week I spend more than half of my time looking at them moving in the breeze and studying the way they sprout from the branches. When things get asked about my childhood I get confused, normally I have an answer for her questions and can put it into words, but nothings there for most of it. I remember bits. Sometimes when I finally remember something I later realize it was a dream I had, or it's based on a photo I've seen from my childhood. For example I know that we used to have birthday parties and make our own piñatas, which I gathered from the photos of me and some little friends hitting some of big round funny looking piñata's over the years. I guess I do remember these special occasions to some extent, pinning the tail on the donkey, that sort of thing.

I remember that my Dad always ate his dinner really fast, but I don't remember eating, or anyone cooking dinner, or what the food looked like. I do remember making dinner for the family in middleschool, tofu triangles, that was my go to. I also remember reading about factory farming in the paper and then going vegetarian for a year or so.

I can barely see my Dad, and I can't picture my Mom at all. In highschool I told my Mom about a memory from childhood I had about feeling sick after going out to eat and her comforting me and pulling a kitkat out of her ear as a magic trick to make me feel better. It turns out this was a dream.